...standing in the line for the bathroom! is the new single from N.E.R.D and if you have not heard it, it sounds a little annoying at first, yet very catchy. Also known as "everybody nose' the video is even better. It really captures the rawness of the bar scene. Why is it that women who are intoxicated must a) dance so hard on the dance floor they begin to sweat and then b) agree to stand in a line for the bathroom behind 20 other girls.

I have provided the youtube vid for your convenience...

N.E.R.D - Everyone Nose (All The Girls Standing In Line ...)

So anywho...

Just got back this evening from loplops, this resto-bar in town, that I've never been to. Aniela and I decided to go, I wanted to take her out for her bday, but I know we would both enjoy something alot more chill than the dance club scene, you know less sweat and bathroom lines... well there was live entertainment, this musician names Jimi Maze and he was supposedly a cross btw hip hop and folk. Very odd... but enjoyable, if I could compare him to anyone I'd say Maroon 5 maybe?

I don't know see for yourself...

Jimi Maze at Healey's - Rap Set

Lil update. upon my return to the soo from kzoo, my neigbor offered a job. He is a tree marker and marks trees to be cut down in the bushes about an hour north of the city. Well I don't know how these physically demanding jobs find me, but I quit after two days. Carrying a 15 lb backpack, coveralls, steel toe boots... to difficult. It was a major realization to me though... quitting. I have never quit anything in my life. I don't know if that is the positive side or a negative side of being a perfectionist, and at first I was feeling down on myself for giving up. But I realized that I'm not going to be able to do ALOT of things in life, and accepting that fact, became very liberating for me. Perfectionists around don't take to well to failing or admitting fault... but th th that don't kill you makes you stronger.. right kanye?

Well its been 6 days and I miss him already. I am fighting every urge to hop in my vehicle and drive the 4 and  a half hours to his front door. Again what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and the positive side of me, the side where faith and hope prevails looks at it our situation as one that we need to figure out, where we need a game plan.

As far as my career, and not finding much in my unspecialized, over populated major... I feel as if I don't want to sit back and be a play the waiting role and be at the mercy of what comes around. I have so much motivation to take the pro-active role and create my own destiny. Go after what I want, and what will work for me, and provide me with the best situation with WHO I want to be with and WHERE I want to be.

Reading EAT PRAY LOVE , only one of the 3 books I am in the middle of, the author who is has travelled to an Ashram in India, reflects on what as humans we have control over, and what we don't. How our thoughts, we own them and can control them completely and how our thoughts have such a powerful command over soooo much. I need to realize this. I think this book as well as "The Secret" (as far fetched and as you may believe this book is) has really changed the process in which I think now... I don't feel easily influenced or swayed to believe what these books what the majority to believe, rather it has opened doors to rooms where my thoughts are able to expand and work in my favor and my best interest.... confused? not as nearly as I am...

Well these posts are getting longer and longer each time, although I don't often post, when I do, I feel like I am draining my excess thoughts onto my laptop. Getting them out puts me at ease.... I literally can drive myself crazy, anxiety-wise 3 times a day if I didn't find a place to take my thoughts for a walk and escape.

Tomorrow I have the mid-season tourney finals for womens league soccer, working out, and doing some work professionally to advance my career plans, I'd get into it, but I really have no desire to get into the details...

Also, Christian Audigier has released a new line of his Don Ed Hardy designs for a swim suit line, if I had money, I'd be all over it....

Ed Hardy Swim Suit Line

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The past week or so have been amazing, came down to visit the boyfriend in Michigan. I love the city, love being here and love the feeling when he walks thru the door when he's home from work. Sounds corny but it just feels...nice.
Well the job search down here has been horrible. The immense competition for teaching is overwhelming. With 2 major education colleges in the area, it seems like a million people are competing for a hundred jobs in the area. I know realistically its a job isn't gonna just pop up out of nowhere, especially for a Canadian. So we've had to change our game plans a little. It's funny how when you're falling in love you don't think about the complications it could create. Don't get me wrong I have no regrets in life, and I am proud of that. It's just really eye-opening to look back and think everything will just fall into place the way you want it to, or the way you expect it to. Just really exposed the rawness of life and the fact that although I think you are not a helpless victim of life's processes, but your actions and reactions to the things that life throw at you, can really define who you are as a person. And I am learning, every frieken day, every step of the way. It does help tremendously to have the best man with me, supportive and dedicated to our relationship as I am. I am truly so grateful.

Well this weekend, one of my roommates from college, Ashley and her boyfriend Fred came to stay and visit and we had a good time. Ashley and I did some shopping while the guys worked out, and we went out Saturday night to a piano bar and I had so much fun. It was definitely a different crowd, but extremely enjoyable. So a fun weekend, we actually went out, and enjoyed some company.

I'm sadly headed home today, not that home is such a bad place, but I wish so much I could just work in the US this summer I would be here no question. But anyways, I believe I will be having a source of income for the summer when I get home. My neighbor has his own business and he needs some help doing tree marking in the bushes just north of our house. I don't know how these weird jobs keep finding me, but I need money and that is all I know

Well I'm off to Detroit to see one of my friends comedy shows tonight. So I'm excited to see her and spend some time with her till she is off to LA to live and work.

Practice Acts of Random Kindness!

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There has been a lot that has happened which has prevented me from posting. Some I wish to speak about, and others I wish to forget. One of them, however is my physical leap from College. Yes I have graduated. And I although I haven’t exactly fallen into the "real world" I would like to say I am floating somewhere in the "abyss" btw college and the real world. Since I’ve been home, I haven’t found a job, and have been desperately trying to find a job. So far, no such luck. To make things even the more complicated, I love finding out that if I would have done certain things differently in the past, it could have put me in a better situation presently to find a job. But can we look back? Although my mind can’t stop doing so… I have to force it on the present.

So, presently… I am at home, and trying very hard to be patient. Patient being away from the boyfriend and fighting every incling to drive down to see him at any opportunity. But most of all patient with my family. I know that probably sounds really bad. But being away from them for so long, I needed to ease into being around them so much… But no, I get the full fledged sarcasm, fighting, running around thrown at me. Its hard to handle, but you gotta love’em

Was across the river, soo mich. to do some shopping.. although I ended up only getting some hair elastics which is weird. guess I just wasn’t in the shopping mood. We got pulled over at customs thought, I guess having over $300 worth of merchandise constitutes as having to pay taxes. I mean when someone asks how much money you have and you reply we each have $85, that does mean $85 times the three people in the car…. Good thing I didn’t claim the 35 mm pistols next to the pound of cocaine in the back seat… mannn. I feel like sometimes I try too hard to make things simpler when I talk and obviously sometimes simple is too complicated. I think for the next little while I won’t try and just say what comes out… and if I still get confused looks, I won’t know what to do anymore…

 Well this post definately lacked depth… I am sort of out of it today…I have an early morning beginning with the gym, then doing some more running around. So I better get some shut-eye.

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I really didn't have to think hard about the title. No, not at all. What death house am I referring to? I thought you would never ask...

Today was an in-service day, which means instead of being in our regular classrooms for student teaching, we are interrupted by some sort of engaging, meaningful activity. What was the activity that was so important that we had to sit on a Puma bus for and hour and a half to travel to indy? Uhh... to meet our legislators at the state house to try and persuade them to pass certain bills that pertain to teachers. What the heck!? First off, I don't ever plan on teaching in the state of Indiana, second of all being a Canadian citizen, I didn't know what the heck was going on about 100% of the time. And p.s. the parliament system is MUCH easier to understand. I don't think I could have stood out or seemed more disinterested in everything that was going on. I might as well have painted a red maple leaf on my forehead. Between the what seemed 140-some semi-balding, 60+ men dressed in suits and the leather-like texture of the turkey cutlet at lunch, I became enraged. I was actually DYING to be in class with my kids today. But when Dr. Venditti asked for any comments for improvement, or our opinion on how the day went, I just bit my tongue. Nobody cares what a Canadian thinks anyways. Americans: 55, Trish: 0.

Can we talk about the weather going on here!? If it isn't a flash flood warning, it's a winter storm warning, and if it isn't a winter storm warning it's a fog warning. We'll see if we have school tomorrow... we are supposed to go bowling.

Finally I need to express the comforting feeling of "everything is going to be alright" after I have promised to show effort  in planning for future employment opportunities. I've been researching a few things lately, finding out more information about the endless confusion on gaining employment authorization after I graduate. Not gonna lie, it has sparked an inner excitement, rather than a worry. This is a HUGE step for me. For anyone who knows me well, would say calling myself a perfectionist is an understatement. Within this unwanted necessity to be perfect (Which I've been tainted with by 'o perfect one herself, my mother), I've always wanted plan things out down to a T. I've realized from my great teacher named "experience" that this can never be the realistic case. Following this realization, I have began to trust the saying "everything happens for a reason" (although I despise its overuse), which has proven itself to be true in  more often times than not. Even if I did plan, it would never end up that way anyways. So, I have then switched my role from planner to preparer. What was once sooo many complex things, papers, and fees to look into as I transition from student to employer in the US, has become clear and attainable through planning and positive thinking. When I really stop and think about it, I already have a job in Kzoo, MI... I just don't know what school or grade yet.

I miss the fam greatly, I must add. I think about my cousin in London about to give birth, and I think about my Aunt out west about to get married. I pray for both of them, for their safety and their happiness.

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I have to say, I've been really happy lately in life. I mean, not the bubbly overpowering happy that I usually find to be on the annoying side. Just happy. My recent zen Buddhist influence has really allowed me to embrace the power of "living in the present moment". And when I reflect over my life at the moment, I can't help but smile this ridiculous smile that I don't realize is painted on my face until people begin to jet confused glances my way. I then straighten up my face, and kill the whole mood "Great, Trish, now they think your crazy".... I digress. But as if people would look at a person who is boasting with happiness and think something must be wrong? I think sometimes, we all get caught up in the past, and even future. Worries, self-gratification, material things begin to consume all of our efforts to live this wonderful life we have been blessed with. I think appreciation has a lot to do with this. So, then, I have recently formed a habit. To quickly run over in my head the things I appreciate and am grateful for before my feet get out of my bed and hit the floor in the mornings.

Well, once again, I spent a lovely weekend up north with boyfriend. Again, lack of technology provided more opportunities to veg, talk about both serious and extremely goofy topics. I've never understood what it means to find a person who you can drop all insecurities and efforts to impress them, and just be you. Appreciation # 1: Boyfriend.
Next weekend is D-day. The big kahuna purchase: TV, home theater system, and TV stand. Finally some ENTERTAINMENT! Not that there is lack of, but I crave my daily dose of VH1. Also we will be celebrating my birthday weekend! yayy for 22!

Student teaching has been an amazing experience thus far. 30 kids. 6th grade. Now usually one would envision chaos, or a zoo perhaps? But no. Why? My co-ordinating teacher is Ah-mazing! She seriously reminds me of my mother. I have about 90% of full teaching responsibilities. Not to mention the 150 IQ brain to my right who feels the need to interject at every opportunity to tell me I am wrong in some way. He is driving me banana sandwich.

Tonight is my busy night. I go from 6:30am until right about now. This evening class has increased my hatred for Mondays by  a mere 100,000%. That's 1,000 in decimal form if you are working on 6th grade Saxon Math. Just a lil tidbit. Tonight my ex-soccer team ( I say this with no hesitation whatsoever) was training with a recruit, so I decided to play a little after my class was over. I really never realized how much I miss playing until tonight. I had so much fun. And although I am a has-been, I don't think my love for the game will ever die. I haven't touched a ball since our last game in October, and boy am I rusty. I will probably be in a little bit of pain tomorrow. Uhhh buhh.
Oh look, Cosmo magazine just named me one of their fun fearless females of 2008. How nice of them.

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Well this weekend was great. Absolutely amazing rather. I headed up to Kalamazoo to see boyfriend's new digs and spend the weekend with him. It is interesting to note that, because he has recently moved into the apartment, there was no form of electronic entertainment to be found. I think, though, that this worked to our advantage. We pretty much took time to catch up, relax and talk. It was an opportunity to hide-out, especially from the frigid soo-like weather going on outside. Boyfriend even cooked an amazing breakfast for us yesterday morning. I think he was bound to prove his skills in the kitchen which I've doubted in the past, but secretly knew he had and just wanted him to prove. lol. He drove me around the "zoo" showing me the city and endless buildings of his new company. Although we didn't get to the mall, we made sure we hit every and any store that sells TVs in preparation for his big purchase. We decided on a 40 or 42 inch, huge I know. Overall is was a great getaway and escape from this campus which seemed to swallow me up in depression as soon as I rolled on campus. Well maybe not depression, but definitely a feeling of needing to move on. Tomorrow is an in-service day at the joe, so no student teaching. YAY for that.

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So I must say this blogging thing is well overdue. I’ve been writing journal-like passages for as long as I can remember on paper. And it’s about time I’ve broke down and started all over again via a “blog” website. Quite new to this form of expression, but I’m sure to get used to it.

I guess I can only start with where I am right now. Good ole’ Rensselaer, IN or Rensultucky as it is better know as. Never asked why for sure but I’m guessing because of the abundant cornfields and miles upon miles of flat land. Just a guess tho. What brought me hundreds of miles from my home in Canada? Soccer. The most beautiful sport in the world. And I am sad to say, I am now a has-been. I mean I still play for the fun of it, but all the competition is over and has been over for about 3 months now. I miss it terribly.

Finishing up the last semester here at the “joe”, I have just recently began student teaching. Actually the first day was today. 30 kids. All sons and daughters of farmers. Well not exactly, but pretty close. My co-ordinating teacher is amazing, and reminds me so much of my mother. I’ve always thought that.. even when I has PLE with her last year. And to confirm this notion, she brought BEETS for lunch today. It just so happens Ma made beets for herself randomly one night when we had a perfectly planned dinner. Why I asked her. “Because I have a craving”. And with that, there was nothing more to be said.

Well this weekend is going to be pretty exciting. It is our yr end soccer banquet on Saturday. But most importantly, the love of my life will be here tomorrow, just in time for our two year anniversary. LaVarr Darnell Brown. He is up in Kalamazoo right now, just moved up there after accepting a job with Stryker Instruments. I couldn’t be happier for him. But more importantly, I can’t wait to see him.

Sex and the City will become a routine for me to watch before I call it a night. Need to be a Grama this semester. This is an analogy that never made sense for me though, seeing as my Grams late night tv lineup lasts way past my bedtime on any night. Regardless, I’m sleepy.

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